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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please.

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  #1  
Old 06-18-2010, 06:04 PM
eman eman is offline
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Default confucius says

Top 15 Confucius Sayings



Confucius is wise, in fact we'd be much wiser taking his advice. Below are the top 15 Confucius sayings, otherwise known as his famous analects. While there are literally hundreds or thousands of them, most probably made up - we've picked our favorites.
  1. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
  2. Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk.
  3. War doesn't determine who is right, only who is left.
  4. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
  5. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
  6. Man who run behind car get exhausted.
  7. It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
  8. Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
  9. Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky fingers.
  10. Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house.
  11. Man who farts in church sits in his own pew.
  12. He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
  13. Elevator smell different to midget.
  14. Those who quote me are fools.
  15. Confucius say too damn much
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  #2  
Old 06-19-2010, 02:13 PM
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SULPHITE SULPHITE is offline
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Those are good lol
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  #3  
Old 06-19-2010, 02:16 PM
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longsidelandry longsidelandry is offline
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lol I think my favorite one isn't on that list...

Man who stands on toilet, high on pot.
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  #4  
Old 06-19-2010, 06:35 PM
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yak'em-n-stack'em yak'em-n-stack'em is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eman View Post
Top 15 Confucius Sayings



Confucius is wise, in fact we'd be much wiser taking his advice. Below are the top 15 Confucius sayings, otherwise known as his famous analects. While there are literally hundreds or thousands of them, most probably made up - we've picked our favorites.
  1. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
  2. Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk.
  3. War doesn't determine who is right, only who is left.
  4. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
  5. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
  6. Man who run behind car get exhausted.
  7. It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
  8. Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
  9. Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky fingers.
  10. Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house.
  11. Man who farts in church sits in his own pew.
  12. He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
  13. Elevator smell different to midget.
  14. Those who quote me are fools.
  15. Confucius say too damn much
thankfully "W"e have a resident expert on this

can "W"e get a confirmation?
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  #5  
Old 06-19-2010, 10:21 PM
davethefish1 davethefish1 is offline
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Smile what about---

woman who fly upside down , have crack up!
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  #6  
Old 06-19-2010, 10:43 PM
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Bluechip Bluechip is offline
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Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding bag.
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