any of you guys got step kids?????

[southern151]

The road the adulthood is a long one, even when ya grow up in a "normal" home. Be there for the long haul. He'll thank you one day!

[simplepeddler]

He is angry man, and he does resent the situation ......and yes, you too sometimes. he didn't ask for any of this
He has to focus and place his anger somewhere.

if you are going to bust his chops, and you should, let him know what he is doing right too

PM me man, I'd be happy to take you two guys shooting some skeet......have all the guns and a membership or two

[Backwards Kid's Mom]

I've had a similar situation...my ex POS has never been anything but disruptive in my sons life but God saw fit to end the visitation. The ex has no interest in seeing his son or showing up for ballgames,etc so I don't have to deal with the house to house chaos. But...my son was always angry and heartbroken. Jeff has been a part of our lives for years as a friend, but things changed about a year ago and he was very straightforward with my son about respect towards me and him. Jeff takes him hunting, fishing, plays with him, hugs on him and gets on his arse when he gets out of line. At first, my son puffed up about it...but I stood firm by Jeffs side and let him know that I backed him as a parent. My son didn't like it at first...but now he has blossomed! So much that he finally realized what a REAL dad was like and found the courage to tell his POS dad to go to hell. I will forever be grateful to Jeff for the examples he sets, the lessons he teaches and for making my son a better young man!!!

[jaclyn.renea]

My real dad is a dirt bag. My step has been in my life for almost 20 years. I wouldn't see it any other way. I used to come home from my real dad's upset and really mean. One day I grew up and realized just how big of a POS he was. Now I have no interest in seeing him or talking to him. He wasn't worth my time. But then again, it took me almost 18 years to realize this. You live and learn, make mistakes and ask for forgiveness to those you've hurt. It's all a part of growing up. :[

[Dink]

Thank you all......I needed the reassuring. We had a long talk tonight. I hope tomorrow is better......this is why I love this site!!!

[southern151]

Originally Posted by Dink

Thank you all......I needed the reassuring. We had a long talk tonight. I hope tomorrow is better......this is why I love this site!!!

Good luck, paudna. It's a long road but, I am sure it will be worthwhile.

[RaginCagin]

I have a 5 year old step son that I Consider my own. I have been there since before he was born. He is with me at the camp and hunting and fishing almost all the time. His dad despises me and makes sure to tell him I am not his dad every chance he gets. I teach him rules, manners, sports, hunting, fishing and his dad teaches him how to play a wii and all he does is bribe him when he gets him. I have no problem with his father being a part of his life as he should but his way of acting like he cares is to buy him everything he wants and thats it. The father and I had several encounters after my step son was first born but I learned to cool down. I discipline my step son and raise him like he is my own and I dare his dad to tell me something for it. A father that sends his son home Saturday at noon istead of Sunday at noon like he was supposed to b/c he wanted to go watch College football at the bar with his buddies is a pos imo and does not deserve the right to correct any actions I take.

[Ray]

Good luck to all the step parents.
I was raised by my dad. My mom died when I was in the second grade.
My dad married 3 more times before he found the right one.

[LAhunter]

I got my step kids at 9 and 13 (boy 9 and girl 13) same thing as Dink, Father worked just to have money for gas and beer. They lived with us for 1.5 years and we moved to a new town and they wanted to stay at thier school so they moved back in with their dad. The boy had it in his mine that he was going to drop out of school at 16. It took a lot of time for me to change his mine. I took him fishing and hunting every chance I could and would talk with about the things me and his mother had like boats, guns, nice cars, places to hunt ect... and would tell him it is because we get up every morning and go to work. He is 19 years old now and in school at UL. Both look to me as a dad not a stepdad. Please do not give up on him he will come around it just take time. May God bless you and your family.

[wireball]

Me and my step son use to butheads every he came back from his dads.Took alot of time just getting away and spending time with him,Just remember anybody can be a dad but it takes a real man to be father. Your step son will see that.

[Jordan]

prayers with ya tim, if ya need to yell at someone, give me a call..... ya got my #

[flyphisher]

ditto what many have said here. I have a 13 y/o stepson, been with him since he was 18 months old. His dad is a deadbeat, self employed painter that doesn't file taxes on all his income. He is $7k behind on child support, spent a night in jail 6 months ago because of it. For the last 4 years, he has worked on the kid to come live with him in Robert, La because there are too many blacks where we live in Laplace. A year and a half ago, he called Child Services on us cuz the boy had a scratch on his arm where he argued with his mother about a video game and she put him in his place. He had the Tangi Sheriff's Office keep us away from the boy for 6 weeks until we got a court order to return the boy and cease and desist. That crap cost us $5k that we didn't have. It's tough, but it's starting to turn now. He is starting to see what a POS his step mother is, and the end of summer this year we didn't have the "I wanna go live with my dad" **** that we've dealt with the last 4 years.

Actually, the last 2 weekends that he was at his dad's, he called us and wanted to come home a day or so early.

His father had it in his head this false idea that at 13 a kid can decide which parent he wants to live with. It's BS, on the law books, where the kid wants to live is the lowest thing the court will consider when deciding the domicile of a child, because the courts know that a kid can be influenced by gifts and such.

Sorry, this turned into more of a vent than advice.

[flyphisher]

A cooling off period of 24 hours seems to be the standard when they come back from the bad dad's house. We deal with the same thing. I just say "Hey buddy, hope your weekend was cool." and let him go play Xbox360. By the next day he is fine.

All the guys that say "My house, my rules" obviously don't have kids, or if they do, they will be strippers and crackheads before long. You can't be too lax, or too strict, both will backfire.