Dark Caves

[Uncle Barty]

I got on the train one cold winter morning and was immediately hit with one of the foulest smells I've ever smelled. It was a bum, and he just smelled like alcohol and body odor and filth. It was just awful.
He **** his pants on the ride. Really.
It was so bad that a full car completely bailed and ran into adjacent cars at the next stop.
I kind of felt a little weird making out with him at that point, but I'd lost the solitaire game, so I had to own up.