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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please.

 
 
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Old 12-09-2010, 05:06 PM
eman eman is offline
Swordfish
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Baton Rouge
Posts: 6,033
Cash: 606
Default hmmm Got this from my wife

Giving Up Wine


I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of
dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you
this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?

'No, I had to stop drinking years ago,' the homeless woman told me..

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to
spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done
in 20 years!'

'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going
to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'

The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you
for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty
disgusting.

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks
like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.
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