Jordan, God bless you man. You are on the right path. You have 1.) Recognized you have a problem and 2.) Are reaching out for help. I am an ER nurse and am confronted with death regularly. There have been a few cases throughout my 21 year career that have haunted me. Take care of yourself first brother. It always falls on us professionals to clean up these situations. Many lay people only see the professional game face, but when we clock out, those suppressed emotions can creep to the front. I thank you, society thanks you, and the families thank you for what you do. Get healthy man...life is so very much worth it.
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